haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
