I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
