About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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