haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
