I wanna bring you to show and tell
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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