It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize