question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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