so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
