So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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