Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
