i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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