I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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