This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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