i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
