absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
