I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
