Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
