do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
