He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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