i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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