butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
