This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
