Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Randomize