I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize