I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
