i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
