He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I'm really busy with my period
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