therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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