I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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