that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she looked like the before picture.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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