Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
