I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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