i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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