I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
