Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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