My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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