Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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