Christians are straight up FREAKS
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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