My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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