Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize