After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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