Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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