She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
