I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
