This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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