Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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