If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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