Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
