New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
