I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
did i walk over a car last night?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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