her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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