Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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