just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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