just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
