from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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